Folk Heroes Of Hungary

MATT - THE GOOSE BOY

JOKES ABOUT MAURICE:

Maurice (who's Jewish) goes to school. The teacher announces:

-"I will give 2 bucks to someone who can name me the greatest and most achieving person in the world."

-"Leonardo da Vinci" says one kid.

-"Good, but I did not think of him" replies the teacher.

-"Perhaps Einstein?" asks the other

-"He is good but there is someone who was better" the teacher replies. While Maurice says:

-"Jesus Christ"

-"Bravo Maurice. Here is the 2 dollars, but I would have thought that being Jewish, you would have named Moses."

-"Of course. Moses is Moses, but business is business."

*

Maurice is in school, and the teacher asks him a question.

-"All right my boy, name all of the friendly countries in Europe."

-"Poland, Cechoslovakia, GDR, Romania and Bulgaria.

-"Not bad, but you've missed the most important one: the Soviet Union."

-"With all due respect, Soviet Union is not a friendly country. It's a sister country."

-"Why would that be?"

-"Because one can choose his friends, but not his sisters."

*

Maurice's parents are having sex, while Maurice is watching through the keyhole. Than Maurice asks:

-"Dad, what are you doing?"

-"I'm putting the car into the garage" replies his father.

-"Well watch out, because the two wheels in the back are sticking out."

*

Maurice is bringing home an excellent report card, so his dad disbelieving asks him:

-"Is this yours? Your report card looks too good to be true."

-"Of course it's mine dad. There are only two Jews in the class and one of them is crucified on top of the door. There is no competition for me."